How to believe in yourself: 3 areas you need to look into

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A few weeks ago I got an email from a woman who wrote “I want to walk in the true ME. I want to love freely and give freely in all that I am so I can help others and actually enjoy my life. The problem is that I know I am able but I can’t seem to believe enough in myself to really go out there and achieve it.”

Can you relate?

In my early 20s, I spent a lot of time thinking that I was confused about what I wanted when in reality I knew exactly what I wanted, I was just too afraid to say it out loud. I was afraid that I would show the world who I really am and take a leap into following my passion, and then fail. I was terrified to embarrass myself and in an effort to avoid shame and other people's judgement I would give up and stop believing in myself and my dreams.

Suppressing who you really are, denying yourself your own wants, and not believing in yourself are all forms of self-sabotage that will never lead to the life you deep down want.

Why? Because you aren't acting in full expression of yourself and your own uniqueness. You are acting from fear.

The truth is that we all deep down know what we want (even if we cannot see it right away). The real task is in learning how to know yourself and like yourself so that you can start to believe in yourself fully and without doubt. 

True, authentic change doesn’t happen because you do certain things and force yourself into certain actions, it happens because you dare to become more of who you truly are. Because you believe in your own worth and in your own ability to be the source of wisdom.

Faith and belief in yourself is the agent of change that makes your dreams an actual real possibility!

What I have learned over and over again in my own life as well as in my profession as a life coach is that if you really want to believe in yourself and create a soulful life, you have to do some inner work by looking into the following 3 areas: your past, your present, and your future.

Your past:

Instead of turning a blind eye and thinking it’s all in the past, take another look and see what patterns you are repeating that have existed in your family for years; maybe generations. Whether or not we like it, what we observe as children and how relationships (with others and ourselves) were role-modeled to us matters a great deal.

For example, if your mom is very critical, you are likely to have perfectionistic tendencies. If your parents relationship had a certain communication style you are likely to have internalized how couples communicate and might repeat that in your own life. If people around you held grudges, you might be scarred to express your own opinion and needs. If you are the oldest or a single child you are likely to be a natural care-taker who sacrifices her own well-being for others. Becoming aware of these patterns and seeing them clearly in front of you empowers you to make changes. Believing in yourself requires enough self-awareness to be free from past patterns.

Your present:

Being present-centered is difficult for many of us living in a fast-paced world. We tend to spend a lot of our time either dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. However, being content in the now is what creates happiness.

We also have a tendency to look at what else we need and forget about all the things we already have. Being in the present and building awareness for what already is sets the stage and builds the confidence to go for what you want. Once you can stop operating from a place of lack, you can start taking charge of what you want.

Your future:

Having direction is obviously key when it comes to believing in yourself. Being able to create clarity for how you want your life to feel and look is the very first step in manifesting it. I come across people often who are afraid to say what they want out of fear of not getting it and, as a result, feel like they failed. The truth is, however, that unless you say what you want, you are guaranteed to miss all chances of creating it. Taking on an active role in the creation of your life -even though it might require some courage at first- is, no doubt, empowering. Once you step out and take small successful actions in the direction of your dreams, your belief in yourself will be fueled once more in return. That is how you built strength and resilience.

If this resonates with you, I highly recommend checking out The Busy Girl's 6-Week Plan To Balance & Fulfillment, where we spend 2 sessions on understanding and releasing your past, 2 sessions on clarifying your strengths, fostering confidence and setting boundaries in the presence, and 2 sessions on getting clear about what you want in your future + how to get it.

Check it out here and make sure you email me to secure the Early Bird Special for yourself.

In the comments below, I'd love to hear from you: Do you feel like you believe in yourself? What is keeping you from really trusting yourself? What would you do if you didn't doubt yourself?

with love, 

Caroline


Each week -along with each lecture, worksheets, and Q & A call- you will get an expert interview covering the following topics:

1. Turning Fear Into Faith With Confidence with Anna Goldstein

2. Uncovering The Essence Of Who You Truly Are with Dr. Tracy Thomas

3. Becoming The Leader Of Your Life with Jennifer Racioppi

4. Meditation For Better Performance with Emily Fletcher

5. Creating The Life You Love One Manifestation At A Time with Jeannine Yoder

6. Living Your Purpose with Alison Leipzig

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